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Literature Text
When God breaks your heart
It shatters finer than dust
You bleed on the inside
And scream on the outside
You wear bold scars
That frighten those who see
When God breaks your heart
It stops beating altogether
Your soul weeps tears
Larger than the moon
And your body suppresses
The urge to hug someone
You long for death
And run from it at the same time
But when God heals your heart
He uses the blood of Christ
Gently massaging the wounds
With a salve of love
It starts from the inside out
With a piece of inner holiness
And then you begin to learn
That running is no long necessary
It shatters finer than dust
You bleed on the inside
And scream on the outside
You wear bold scars
That frighten those who see
When God breaks your heart
It stops beating altogether
Your soul weeps tears
Larger than the moon
And your body suppresses
The urge to hug someone
You long for death
And run from it at the same time
But when God heals your heart
He uses the blood of Christ
Gently massaging the wounds
With a salve of love
It starts from the inside out
With a piece of inner holiness
And then you begin to learn
That running is no long necessary
something i am learning right now!!
© 2013 - 2024 cms-star
Comments8
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThere's a well done reader bait and switch, at first leading the reader to believe in showing how God hurts, but wrapping it up with how God heals. Initial misunderstanding, then realization is impacted clearly with how at first, the heart of the person is "running away", feeling like they have been wronged and hurt, but realizes that "running is no longer necessary", indicating a reconciliation...like the person is the one drifting off, not the other way around.
However, the flow in some areas are a bit rough, which effects the impact a little. While the message is clear and apparent, it's muddled a bit with the way it is written. The structure of the work seems like it would need a little more rhyme, as the piece seems to have a more melodious flow like song lyrics.
All in all, it's a diamond in the rough, clearly written with passion of personal experience that makes it shine on that alone. While obvious tweaking is needed, you're on the right track and should definitely continue!